Self Publishing tips for Amazon KDP!

In this blog I will be looking at how you can get your own book published on Amazon via their KDP programme – and it’s all free! My latest thriller novel, The Last Of The Heroes, was released this week and so it’s a very exciting time for me! It is the follow up to my earlier thriller ‘The Girl On The Bus’ which has been a smash hit, selling over 10,000 copies a month at one stage and spending over 9 weeks in the Amazon top 100 best sellers chart! So if I can do it then so can you!

I am revisiting an earlier blog because I found it so useful myself when publishing The Last Of The Heroes this week – I hope that you will find it equally useful. The main tip that I can give you is GO FOR IT!! The only thing that is stopping your book becoming a potential best seller is your reticence. Don’t put it off – if you have a book that is ready to go then don’t hide it away, get it out there!

There is no cost at all to upload a book to Amazon via KDP – the only costs that you may encounter are the costs for proofreading and the costs for a cover. I find that Gumtree is a good place to find budding illustrators, many of whom will do a great job for a very reasonable price. My cover was created by a brilliant Italian artist called Anna Chiarini, she replied to my ad on Gumtree and she has done a great job for a very reasonable price. I will certainly be using Anna again. Alternatively you can search on Google for pre-made covers that can be personalised for your book for a small fee.

Proof reading is important, readers do pick up on typos and grammatical errors. This will be the major cost to you but I feel that it’s worth it in the long run. The following link gives a directory of professional proofreaders:
http://www.sfep.org.uk/directory/directory.asp
This is an invaluable resource – these people are highly qualified and experienced editors and proofreaders. Their rates vary but expect to pay in the region of £300 for a 40,000 word book. This sounds like a lot but you can recoup this in two or three days if your well proofed book takes off!

Now you are ready to upload your files! KDP stands for Kindle Direct Publishing. In effect you are becoming a publisher – how exciting is that! The sign up process is very simple – if you have the ability and chutzpah to write a book then you certainly have the ability to sign up to KDP!

You will have to decide on a name for your publisher – make it something different and fun (Blue Robot Press maybe?), or something personal like Joe’s Gran Books. After this you can upload the cover and the text itself. The cover should be in JPG format – 1200 pixels wide by around 1800 pixels high seems to be the perfect dimensions, remember that you want your cover to stand out when it’s seen in miniature on the Amazon shopping page.

The body of the book itself, the text, should be in Word format. I myself don’t have Word or any of the Microsoft suite on my computer – I use something called Open Office. It is completely free (I like freebies, can you tell?) and can save things in Word’s .doc format without any compatibility issues. Once you have uploaded your ‘Word’ file you have the opportunity of previewing how it will look on various Kindle devices as well as how it will look on an Ipad and Iphone app. This is vital – it only takes a few minutes and allows you to see whether the format needs changing. If it looks too messy, small or cluttered then simply change the font, or the style or the layout and upload the file again. Only click the final publish button once you are happy with how your masterpiece looks!

On the subject of fonts, many people use the standard ‘Times New Roman’, but this can make it stand out as being independently published because it’s so ubiquitous. Try a different font – I personally like the ‘Georgia’ font but there are plenty to choose from to give a little individuality.

You also need to create a sales blurb! This is of primary importance because unless the blurb stands out and grabs a reader then they are never to going to read your brilliant book. Here is a big tip: Amazon will tell you that you can’t use HTML tags on your blurb but this is incorrect. The Tortoise Soup tip is that you simply must use HTML on your blurb! If you don’t then it will all come out in one paragraph and look plain and boring. Get the HTML in and stand out!

Don’t know anything about HTML, huh? Don’t worry – neither do I, but you only need to know the very basics that can be found via this very helpful link! http://www.tckpublishing.com/how-to-use-html-to-format-kdp-kindle-book-descriptions/ HTML is the language of the Web, it tells the Interweb thingy how to display information. The main ones to use in your blurb are b to put something in bold and i to put something in italics and finally p to create paragraphs. At the end of an effect the same letter must be used with a / in front of it. For example /b will end the bolding and /i will end the italicisation. Believe me, this is a lot easier than it sounds and will make your blurb stand out. Have a look at how my blurb, the product description, looks – it’s better when it’s not just in one bland lump.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Last-Heroes-John-Halle-ebook/dp/B00GFPWC4G/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1383996473&sr=1-1&keywords=the+last+of+the+heroes

You next have to set the price – you can price them high or go low and try to sell in bulk. That’s what I do, for a book that costs 99p you will make 34p for each one sold. That doesn’t sound a lot but if you are selling hundreds a day it will soon add up to a nice little pile! There is also the option to enroll your book into ‘KDP Select’ – again this is a personal choice. If you go down the ‘Select’ route then your book cannot be available in any other e-book format (although you can have a paperback version). The advantages are that Amazon Prime customers can borrow your book and you can take advantage of free promotional tricks that Amazon has available. You actually make more money out of people borrowing the book than buying it so my personal opinion is that it is worth joining the KDP Select club.

And there you have it – you are now an independently published author, with your book available across the world. And when your masterpiece takes off you can sit back and wait for the monthly transfers directly into your bank account from Amazon – that is a truly great feeling, making money from something that you have truly loved creating!

Good luck, and as I say – don’t hold back, get your book finished and get it out there! If you have any comments on my article or any further hints and tips regarding KDP publishing then please comment below!

Kindle Publishing!

In previous posts I have looked at how to publish a book in its physical form, and I will be returning to this subject in more depth soon, but today I am going to look at how to publish e-books and in particular how to use KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) to get your book onto Amazon with the minimum fuss and with zero expense.

I love to hold books and to feel the pages turning between my fingers but there is an inescapable truth: e-book readers such as the Kindle are the future of literature. I have a Kindle myself and it is a beautiful and practical thing, even if for me it will never replace my true love: the well worn paperback. Kindles are great for readers but they are even better for authors, as I have found out myself.

As you may know, I have recently had my children’s novel, Tortoise Soup, published but back in the mists of time I wrote a thriller novel called ‘The Girl On The Bus’. The book had been more or less dormant for a number of years but suddenly it has been discovered by the Kindle generation and it is now selling hundreds and hundreds of copies every day. I have been propelled into the Amazon bestsellers chart, and am battling it out in the top 100 with writers like Dan Brown and Hillary Mantel! If you would like your own copy, just click the link here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girl-Bus-ebook/dp/B004L2LJJE/ref=la_B00D0RPQR2_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1370184548&sr=1-1

It has all been a bit overwhelming, if very welcome, and in my next post I will give you my tips on how to become a Kindle bestseller but for now let’s start with the basics: here is how to get your e-book into the Amazon store.

Firstly, of course, you have to have the completed script of your novel. For printed copies PDF format is best but KDP prefer you to submit your novel in .doc format. This can be done in Word but also by using free software such as the wonderful Open Office Writer.

Editing is still essential of course, don’t let spelling and grammar errors ruin your chances of e-book success. Amazon allows readers to cancel an ebook and get a refund up to seven days after they have purchased it, and you don’t want too many of those!

It is still important, possibly even more important, to have a good cover. By which I mean, of course, a front cover. You don’t need to worry about a back cover for an ebook as you would for a print book. It is important that this cover can grab a browser’s attention from a tiny thumbnail as that it is all that most readers will see. My tip is make the cover small and striking – don’t bog it down with too much information or lettering as these will be unreadable on the small image that most people will see.

Once you have the .doc file and the JPG cover you are ready to publish! Go to kdp.amazon.com and sign up to their publishing scheme. The whole process is simplicity itself – if you can read this then you can do it all yourself.

Firstly, upload the text and cover. Now you have to provide the obvious information such as the book name and your details. You also have to provide details of how you wish to be paid. Yes, that’s right – you really can make money out of this, and big money as well as I am beginning to find out. And the best thing is that it is all 100% free. Amazon charge you nothing at all to publish your ebook online.

Next you have to click on a statement that you have worldwide rights to your book, which you do of course, and set the price for your book. This is a difficult one, some people like to price high and some go dirt cheap and hope to sell in bulk. I recommend the latter policy, it has worked for me and in my next blog I will explain how this has worked and how to exploit it.

You don’t need to use an ISBN for a Kindle book, Amazon assigns it’s own unique ASIN number. That’s how easy it is. Once you have followed the above steps you have become a digital publisher and within 24 hours your book will be available across the planet. And if you are talented and lucky, one day you might just see your sales start to rocket in the same way that I am with The Girl On The Bus.

If you have anything to add, any experience with KDP, or any questions then please do comment below and I will get back to you!

Self publishing hints and tips

In my last post I took a brief look at self publishing and how it has become an increasingly viable option for the modern writer. Self publishing, also known as indy publishing, has become a boom industry but many writers are still a bit unsure of how to do it and what the benefits are.

I was contacted this week by a budding writer on Twitter. (By the way, if you want to talk to me on Twitter then please follow me through @byrontinker). This writer is currently working an excellent collection of stories about cats, I really liked the preview that I read. They came to me for advice on how to self publish, and as I always like to help my fellow writers I sent an email with some helpful information.

After reading through my reply I thought to myself, ‘hey – my friends who read the Tortoise Soup blog could probably use some of this advice as well’. So, I am reproducing an edited version of my email below. In coming weeks I will be expanding upon lots of the points that I have raised so please do keep checking back in here at the Tortoise Soup blog.

“As you may know it’s incredibly hard to find a mainstream publisher at the moment, unless you’re a celebrity, and the economic hiatus means that agents aren’t taking chances on anyone either.

That’s why self publishing is an attractive option. If a book is good (and I’m sure that yours will be), and a lot of love and effort has gone into it then why shouldn’t it be out there in the marketplace? Good books shouldn’t stay locked inside a mind forever.

There are two main options: the first is using a service such as Lulu. This makes everything very easy, but the process can seem a little remote. You simply pay Lulu a fee (I’m not sure how much, around £100 I think – which is very reasonable compared to vanity publishers), send them your text, choose a cover template and hey presto in a week or so you have your book which will then be on Amazon. The quality is okay, but the cut that companies like Lulu take are very high so your book will be quite expensive for people to buy. For example, I have a friend who published a book through this route. It’s a 400 page book, and costs around £15 which is way too high really. They receive around one pound for each copy that is sold.

The other option is to use CreateSpace or Lightning Source. These are really printing companies, you have to do all of the creative work yourself but I liked that. They are similar entities, CreateSpace is owned by Amazon. I used Lightning Source but contrary to some rumours there was no delay in ‘Tortoise Soup’ appearing on Amazon and nor does it get listed as being ‘out of stock’.

I have heard people say that CreateSpace is easier for beginners to use but Lightning Source was easy enough for me – and I’m not really a computer wizard. To use Lightning Source you have to set up your own publishing company. This isn’t as daunting as it sounds – you buy ISBN numbers in a block of 10 for £120 and assign one to your first book. The purchasing of ISBN’s varies from country to country (for example in Canada it’s free), so to all my blog followers overseas Google should be your first point of call.

You then fill in a form with Lightning Source who, unless you make a hash of the form, will accept you as a publisher client. They then send you a template to fit your cover on and tell you what format the text must be in. Send it to them and again, hey presto – your book will soon be out there but this time under your very own publishing label! It’s a lot easier than it might sound.

Lightning Source gives you a choice of a gloss or matte cover and cream or white paper, I don’t think that CreativeSpace gives you that choice.

The overheads are much lower with CreateSpace or LS and you have complete flexibility on pricing. For example, my 234 page Tortoise Soup sells at £6.99 and over half of that comes straight to me from each sale. If I had gone the Lulu route the book would have cost more and I would have received less.
It costs around £40 to get the book registered with these companies, again much cheaper than using Lulu or similar companies.

There is more work involved though. I’m no graphic designer and it took me a long time to get the cover to fit their template and specifications, I managed it eventually though. I used completely free software to do it: GIMP and a free trial of Quark Xpress. The text has to be in a PDF format that Word doesn’t produce so I used a free word processing package called Open Office Writer.

Can you draw? If so then great, make your own illustrations. I can barely draw stick men but I found a great illustrator on Gumtree who did my drawings completely free. Everybody comments on how quirky and lovely there are. Keep your eyes peeled on Gumtree Artists – there are often budding illustrators on there looking for opportunities to do free work to build up their portfolios.

The other thing to consider is editing. The experts advise that you should always use an editor. You can read your own book a dozen times and because it’s so familiar you can miss glaring mistakes. If you do want to find an editor/proofreader there are lots out there so get some quotes. For Tortoise Soup I had quotes from £200-£500 – I went for the cheapest (Patricia Alderman) but I think she did a really good job, and she also helped me with my cover design. You could edit it yourself if you so wish of course, that’s your decision. I have an English language degree but I still made lots of little errors that Patricia corrected.”

I hope that there may be some points in the email that can help you, and I hope that my Tortoise Soup will continue to be useful to you in the weeks and months to come. As fledgling writers we have to look out for each other and help each other up whenever we can so if you want any specific advice then please contact me!

A lot of you have been asking about my own novel ‘Tortoise Soup’. It is out right now on Kimono Press, and can be bought directly from Amazon in either paperback or Kindle versions. It should be in some independent bookstores as well soon. I am pleased to say that it is getting some great feedback, such as this review by a book mad girl: http://mychildrensbookreview.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/tortoise-soup.html

You can buy copies right here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tortoise-Soup-Nick-Holland/dp/0957557205/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367345532&sr=1-1&keywords=tortoise+soup

Tortoise Soup out now!

These are exciting times for me as besides creating the Tortoise Soup blog, my children’s novel Tortoise Soup is now officially released!

In my blogs I have shown how to find a publisher or how to publish your own novel. In future blogs I will be looking at publishing essentials such as editing, cover design, the use of social media, ebook choices, and fonts and typesetting. I have learned a lot about publishing in the run up to the release of Tortoise Soup, and I hope to be able to give you lots of good advice so that you can see your book in print as well.

Nothing feels as good as holding your own book in your hand, seeing the birth of your own print baby. Early reviews have been fantastic, and the feedback from readers has made all the effort worthwhile. I wrote Tortoise Soup to appeal to children aged 8-11 but the feedback that I am getting shows that adults love it just as much and that really makes me happy.

You can buy Tortoise Soup on Amazon, http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tortoise-Soup-Nick-Holland/dp/0957557205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365876289&sr=8-1&keywords=tortoise+soup

Or you can get a signed copy here: http://kimonopress.com/buy-a-signed-tortoise-soup/

I hope that you will enjoy the book, I’m sure that you will, and I look forward to reading your books in future as well. If you have a book out then why not tell me about it in the comments box below?

Oh, by the way – I am a contestant on the UK TV show ‘Countdown’ on Channel 4 on Monday – I talk about tortoises a lot but forgot to mention the impending release of my Tortoise Soup book! I still have a lot to learn about generating publicity!

Self Publishing

In my previous blogs I have looked at traditional publishing and vanity publishing, well today I am giving the Tortoise Soup treatment to self publishing.

Self publishing is becoming big business. More people than ever are writing, and why not? They say that everybody has a book in them so it makes sense to let it out. Unfortunately, the recession that has our planet in its vice like grip is making it increasingly difficult to find a publisher but many people are finding self publishing to be an ideal solution.

Self publishing is sometimes called indy publishing because it gives a writer the chance to be truly independent without having to follow the advice of agents and publishers: if you want a pink cover, just go for it. If you want to write a sci fi cowboy novel featuring vampire goats, well nobody will stop you.

Let’s be clear about one thing: self publishing is very different to vanity publishing. As I said in my last blog, no writer should ever pay a publisher to have their work publisher. There are costs involved in self publishing but on a much smaller level, and the costs are clear and justified.

There are two ways to self publish. The first way is to use one of the many ‘self publishing’ companies such as Xlibris. These companies do a lot of the hard work for you, all that you have to do is supply the text. They also often have ready made covers that you can adapt and use. For a relatively modest fee (compared to the vanity publishers) they will make your book available online, but will offer next to nothing in the way of support or promotion.

The second option is the true essence of self publishing – going it alone! To do this you will have to strike a deal with a printer, find a distributor, design the cover and the book itself and become your own marketing and PR consultant – to say nothing of essentials like editing.

If this sounds too daunting then maybe this option wouldn’t be ideal for you, but if you love the freedom that self publishing can bring – and if you have a creative and entrepreneurial streak a mile wide, then you might find self publishing your book to be the most rewarding thing in your life. And because you are doing nearly all of the work yourself, the costs are surprisingly low and the potential rewards can be very high.

So have you decided which publishing option is for you? Let me know your thoughts below. In the coming days and weeks I will be giving lots more hints and tips about getting your book into print. I will also be looking at the technical side of getting your book into print such as which design packages to use, and how to format your work.

Keep tapping away at that keyboard, Tortoise Soup friend, and remember that your only enemy is procrastination!

Vanity presses and subsidised publishing

Today, the Tortoise Soup blog is looking at the world of the Vanity Press and assessing the pros and cons of using a vanity publisher to get your book into print.

As my last blog made clear, it can be very difficult to find an established publisher who is willing to take a risk on a new or unknown author. Getting rejection letters and emails by the score can soon become depressingly familiar and you may feel like filing your book away forever and putting it down to experience. Don’t give in! There are two paths still open to you: vanity publishing and self publishing. These are two very different options, I will examine self publishing in more detail in my next blog.

Vanity publishing has a bad name: who wants to be thought of as ‘vain’? It conjures up images of a desperate writer paying large sums of money to print books that nobody will ever read. For this reason many of the vanity press companies now refer to themselves as ‘subsidy publishers’. Do not be fooled by this semantic trickery: they are one and the same thing.

The golden rule is that the publisher should pay the writer, not the other way around. If a publisher asks you to pay them in advance then the alarm bells should be ringing. The sums of money that they ask for are substantial and in reality there is little or no hope of recouping the initial outlay.

So how do these companies work? They will ask for a large sum of money in return for publishing the book. A typical ploy is to pretend that they are simply ‘sharing’ the publishing costs but this is simply not true: as I will show in my next blog the costs of publishing a book are far, far cheaper than these vanity presses ask for as a so called ‘subsidy’. Once this money has been received they will print the book and send a small number of copies to the author, typically the book will also then be available for purchase from online retailers such as Amazon. They will often offer ‘marketing’ services and arrange book signings, but all of these extras have to be paid for through the nose.

I contacted one of these vanity presses whilst researching this blog, and asked how they could help me with ‘Tortoise Soup’. They asked for £5000 up front, for which they would print 1000 copies of my book at an extortionate price of £10 each. In the unlikely event of each copy selling at this price I would still have been at a financial loss, and that is before taking any of their ‘marketing’ packages that they were so keen to push. Needless to say, I politely but firmly declined their offer.

How do you know if a publisher is actually a ‘vanity press’? They often do all that they can to seem respectable but remember that you should never have to pay any money to a genuine publisher. The website ‘Absolute Write’ lists many vanity presses and so this is always a fabulous website to consult if you are unsure about a potential publisher.

Do vanity presses have their place? I have spoken to several authors who have used vanity presses, and read some of their books, and in truth some of them were happy with the service that they received. If money is not an issue and you are desperate to see your work in print then by all means consider this option but do be aware that the publisher’s business plan revolves around getting money out of you the author rather than selling books. The sad thing is that many of the books taken up by vanity and subsidised presses are of a high quality and could thrive if they had a different publisher.

My advice would be to avoid the vanity presses and look at self publishing or ‘indy publishing’. This involves a lot more work on your part, but you have more control, the costs are much lower and the rewards potentially higher. I will begin to look at self publishing in my next article. I will also be bringing you some very exciting news about my children’s novel ‘Tortoise Soup’.

Please comment below and let me know of your experiences with, or views on, vanity presses. Remember my mantra: keep writing and never give in!

Finding A Publisher

Writing a book is hard but fun, getting your book into print is harder still and not as much fun. As Tortoise Soup nears publication, I will look at the three main options once your masterpiece has been completed: finding a publisher, using a vanity publisher or self publishing. Over the next few days the Tortoise Soup blog will look at each in turn, starting with mainstream publishing.

Tortoise Soup took me two years to write (admittedly I did have an 18 month ‘writer’s block break’ in the middle so the writing process itself took around six months). Once you have completed the last word, it is tempting to think that you will soon see it in print. Whoah there – the difficult part is just beginning and the path to print can be frustrating and interminable.

Most new writers will want to be published by an experienced publishing house: perhaps Bloomsbury will sign you up to become the new JK Rowling? This is the most difficult, time consuming and frustrating option. Most publishers, especially the large ones, are profit driven. They won’t care what the book means to you, they care about what the book will mean in pounds, shillings and pence.

So how do you find a publisher? The best place to start is with the Artists’ & Writers’ Yearbook. This book is essential for any writer: as well as containing oodles of good advice it lists publishers and agents in the UK and abroad. It is worth taking time looking at their websites and finding a publisher that suits you: if they don’t publish your genre of book then don’t waste your time approaching them.

My golden rule is to approach several publishers at once: most publishers will take between 3 and 6 months to respond so if you approach them one at a time once ten have rejected you (if they do, of course) you could have wasted over five years! I told you it was a long, frustrating process. The websites will list the publisher’s submission process: typically it will involve sending a one page covering letter (a ‘query’) and a one or two page synopsis along with the first one to three chapters of your masterpiece.

Spend a lot of time on the query and the synopsis – they need to be perfect. Any spelling mistakes here and your book is toast before a page has been read. Publishers receive a huge amount of submissions, and it is so difficult to get over this first hurdle so do all that you can to make your ‘sub’ stand out.

Here is another important point: as Baden Powell once said – be prepared for rejection. I know that we all dream of getting snapped up by the first publisher that we contact, but in all likelihood that isn’t going to happen. Don’t take rejection personally, you could have written an absolutely fantastic book (you have, haven’t you?) but unless it reaches the right person at the right time then you will struggle to get accepted.

You may get five rejections or twenty five rejections, but keep going. Perseverance and indefatigability are your main weapons, because one day you might just strike lucky! Many publishers will send you a one or two line standard rejection letter or email, some won’t even reply at all. Some publishers will reject you but send a detailed reason why: these are the exception rather than the rule and they are something to treasure because they provide both encouragement and pointers as to how your work can be tailored or improved.

Should you look for an agent before finding a publisher? Agents can be harder to find for an unpublished author than finding a publisher. Again, the good ol’ Writers & Artists is the place to look for contact details. I wouldn’t put you off approaching agents as well as publishers, but in my opinion contacting publishers directly can be the best option.

Independent publishers are a good target for new writers. They don’t have the financial clout of a Hodder or a Random House but they are very committed to what they do and have an eye for spotting potential talent as well as potential sales. Some of these independent publishers are gaining mainstream success themselves – for example Salt Publishing gained a Booker shortlist place last year for their excellent novel ‘The Lighthouse’ by Alison Moore.

I myself found an excellent independent publisher for my children’s novel ‘Tortoise Soup’ – they loved the story, appreciated what I was trying to achieve with the novel and were prepared to do all that they could to get it to the audience that it deserved. There was one drawback: they wouldn’t be able to publish it for another two years. Did I agree to wait or did I take another route? For the answer you will have to wait until the third part of this series.

I hope that this article, and the forthcoming articles, has been of use to you. Coming soon is my article on vanity publishing, I hope that you drop by to check it out. Remember to keep going – your book is great and I look forward to reading it one day! Please share any hints and tips below.

Snow

The snow has returned like an unwelcome yet relentless visitor. Just a few years ago it seemed that snow would be a thing of the past, we had gone years without seeing any of the swirling white menace.
Whether it is down to climate change or not I couldn’t say but snow is back in our winters with a vengeance. Transport stops, noses and fingers turn red, bread sells out within minutes of reaching the shop shelves.

But snow can also be such a wonderful thing, it makes even the ugliest scene seem enchantingly beautiful. And of course snow has featured, starred even, in some great works of literature.
James Joyces seminal short story collection ‘Dubliners’ ends with a long story, a novella itself really, called The Dead. Here is how it ends:
“Yes, the news­pa­pers were right: snow was gen­eral all over Ire­land. It was falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, fur­ther west­wards, softly falling into the dark muti­nous Shan­non waves. It was falling too upon every part of the lonely church­yard where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and head­stones, on the spears of the lit­tle gate, on the bar­ren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the uni­verse and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the liv­ing and the dead.”
In this reading snow represents the death of Gabriel’s dreams, the end of what he had thought of as reality, the freezing of the love that he thought he had shared with his wife.
The incredible Japanese novelist Yasunari Kawabata tackled a similar theme in the achingly beautiful ‘Snow Country’ (check it out – it deservedly gained Yasunari the Nobel prize for literature). Again, snow represents the flip sides of one coin: beauty and death, the thing that makes beauty so extreme and powerful is the very knowledge of its fragility – the certainty of its death. Beauty and love will dissolve away like the all encompassing snow that will soon melt away leaving no traces behind.
My new children’s novel ‘Tortoise Soup’ (coming soon – check back here for details) also contains a scene where the poor little tortoise Byron battles in vain against a blizzard:
“It was a cold night on the moors as Byron continued his slow walk northwards. The great north wind had begun to howl across the desolate landscape and at times it blew Byron back so that he seemed to be getting further away from Ruby rather than closer to her. The sky had been darkening for some time but suddenly it began to grow lighter again. A solitary white flake floated down from above and landed right upon Byron’s nose.
‘Brrr, what was that?’ thought Byron, but as he bravely struggled on against the wind the flakes began to fall faster and faster until the air itself looked completely white. Byron panicked now, he had never been out in snow before, but he could feel himself growing colder and colder. Snow was settling onto his shell and his legs were growing heavier and slower. The little tortoise tried to carry on walking but soon it was a struggle even to move his limbs.
Byron had no strength left, he flopped his head down onto the cold moorland floor and lay sprawled out as the snow piled up on top of him. ‘If only I could have seen Ruby again, just one more time’ he thought and the image of her pretty face gave him one last burst of energy. He began to dig into the ground with all his strength but he made slow progress with the frost covered soil. He dug and dug until he toppled into the little hole that he had made but all too soon the snow fell in upon him until there was nothing to show where he had been except a small white mound.”
The great Finnish writer and artist Tove Jansson wrote a short story about snow. It was called ‘Snow’. Here is a recording of me reading it.

I hope that you enjoy it and if you are going out remember the Norwegian saying: “There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.”
Please post any snow related comments below!

The Tortoise Soup Awards 2012

Dear reader, thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting the Tortoise Soup blog throughout 2012. The sheer number of views has amazed me and I know that this blog will continue to go from strength to strength in 2013. As this old year is shuffling away into the sunset let us reflect on some of the brilliant achievements throughout 2012. I am proud to present the inaugural Tortoise Soup awards!

NEW PLAY OF THE YEAR
‘The Last Of The Haussmans’ (National Theatre)
This remarkable debut play by Stephen Beresford had it all – tears, infidelity, betrayal, love, yearning, death and lots and lots of laughter. Julie Walters tour de force as the disintegrating matriarch was more than ably supported. A truly brilliant new play, that will surely become a future legend.

REVIVAL OF THE YEAR
‘Cardenio’ (The Rose Theatre)
Cardenio is the ‘lost’ play of William Shakespeare, or so we are led to believe. For my mind it has much more in common with the Jacobean revenge tragedies of Thomas Middleton. Whoever wrote it, this Autumn’s production at the Rose Theatre was as spectacular as it was intimate. I urge you all to visit the Rose whenever you are in London. Just down the road from the Globe Theatre, the Rose is still being dragged back from the past. As such, it is still very much an architectural site as well as a theatre but it will give you a theatrical experience like no other. Well done to the Aporia Theatre Collective for bringing this difficult and blood soaked classic to life.

REGIONAL PLAY OF THE YEAR
‘Rats Tales” by Carol Ann Duffy (Manchester Royal Exchange)
This is not just a play, it is a theatrical event. Nightmares mingle with fairy tales and the result is pure magic. It would have been impossible to separate this from ‘Last Of The Haussmans’ as the best production of the year. If you want to introduce children to the theatre, you could do no better than start here.

LOCAL THEATRE COMPANY OF THE YEAR
LS Theatre
There is national theatre, and there is regional theatre, but there is another tier that I call ‘local theatre’. The tiny companies that scrape together enough to put on productions at the smaller theatres that still exist across this country.
LS Theatre are a wonderful example of such a company. Based in Barnsley, South Yorkshire they have no shortage of ambition. This year has seen a range of quality productions from them, but the stand out was their ‘Little Shop Of Horrors’ musical. LS pushed the boat out and got in a bone fide West End star in Rachel Leskovac to play Audrey. Audrey 2 (the man eating plant) was just as impressive, and the whole show was a great demonstration of what can be achieved with a small budget but huge determination.

BALLET OF THE YEAR
‘Coppelia’ (The Dancehouse, Manchester)
Manchester City Ballet did a great job in bringing Delibes magic to life at The Dancehouse. Airi Koike was particularly impressive, and I look forward to seeing her performances in future. Larger stages surely await for her.

OPERA OF THE YEAR
‘The Ring Cycle’ (Royal Opera House)
Watching a ring cycle should be on your bucket list. I saw my first cycle this year and I was not disappointed. The cycle is an incredible achievement, both artistically and physically. Wagner’s music is so fast, so frenetic, so loud that to play 17 hours of it over four amazing nights must be unbelievably draining for the orchestra. Sir Tony Pappano cemented his legendary reputation with flawless conducting, and the huge cast stepped up to the plate in style. Which leads me neatly onto…

PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR
Bryn Terfel (Wotan/The Wanderer, Royal Opera House)
There is no bigger role for a bass, but with Bryn Terfel we were in safe hands. It is so hard to strike the right balance between complete power and complete vulnerability but Terfel was faultless. His performance in the final act of Die Walkure was emotionally charged as he sacrifices his own daughter to fate. As the final, beautiful note faded the woman alongside me kept repeating, ‘Oh, wow! oh, wow!’ That said it all.

BOOK OF THE YEAR
The Lighthouse (Alison Moore, Salt Publishing)
This is a debut novel to cherish. A real page turner that is achingly crafted and where the prose is so beautiful that it hurts. Moore was unlucky not to clinch the Booker Prize with this one, but awards will surely rain down on her in the future.

CHILDREN’S BOOK OF THE YEAR
‘The Moomins And The Great Flood’ (Tove Jansson, Sort Of)
There have been so many wonderful new books for children this year so why have I selected a book that was written nearly 70 years ago? Well although this was written in 1945 it has never been published in the United Kingdom before 2012 so it was eligible and a worthy winner. Jansson was the greatest children’s author of all time and this is a must read for all Moomin fans.

POETRY OF THE YEAR
‘Some Things Matter’ (James Nash, Valley Press)
James Nash has reinvigorated the sonnet form in this wonderful new collection. Yorkshire’s finest poet examines the nature of life itself, distilling it into fourteen line vignettes that teach us what it is like to experience the world around us.

We have recognised some incredible achievements above. They all richly deserve the prestigious ‘Golden Tortoise’ that is winging its way to them. But, no review of 2012 would be complete without two special awards.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Cecilia Giminez
Spain has produced many great artists from Goya to Picasso. But this year introduced the world to a remarkable new talent: Cecilia Giminez. This octogenarian from Zaragoza decided that the priceless work of art in her local church needed a bit of love, a gentle restoration. She went to work on ‘Ecce Homo’ by Elias Garcia Martinez and the results brought the work right into the 21st Century. Cecilia seemed bemused at the uproar that her ‘repairs’ caused, but they do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Thanks to Giminez the work went from ‘behold, the man!’ to ‘behold, the chimpanzee!’. At least she had a go.

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR
Cafe del Soul, Marin, California
Is this refreshing honesty or business suicide? Here is the report from the Marin Independent Journal. You decide.
“If I can’t tell the truth to my customers then why have a restaurant?” manager Sandro De Oliviera asked reporters in his ‘natural and organic’ Cafe del Soul in Marin County, California. “Our mission is to give every person who walks through our doors a sense of feeling better than they did before, and that means being honest with them. That’s why we put up a sign informing them that our kitchen is infested with German cockroaches, that we’ve been fighting a losing battle against them, and that we have reported ourselves to the Health Department.”
Bon appetit!

Thank you again, have a wonderful New Year. 2013 will be a very special year for me as I work towards the publication of my children’s novel ‘Tortoise Soup’. I hope that your year will be just as good! Please comment below and let me know what you think have been the highlights of 2012.

Author Tips: Giving A Reading In A School

As you are aware I am the author of children’s novel ‘Tortoise Soup’. Throughout the latter half of this year I have been searching for the ideal publisher for the book. As those of you in similar circumstances might be aware this can be a long and tortuous process. So far I have rejected one firm offer, but I have two publishers currently considering the full manuscript that I would be very happy to work with so hopefully I should have some good news in the New Year.

Although the book isn’t physically available as yet, word is out! As a result of the general schmoozing and networking that an author’s life entails I was invited to read extracts from ‘Tortoise Soup’ at a primary school last week. The event was a great succes. In fact they were so enthusiastic that they have asked me to go back and do another reading when the book is released, either in hard copy or on digital formats, so that the children can buy copies. For many authors giving a live reading can be a daunting prospect so here are my tips for making things run smoothly.

First of all you need to be comfortable with your book, with the sound of it. Don’t just read it in your head, read it out loud to yourself so that you are familiar with the rhythm of your words. This can also be a useful part of the editing process as it helps to root out any superfluous words and passages.

Now you are ready to choose the reading itself. If the audience is primary aged, as mine were, then my advice is to keep it short and snappy. The passage should be five to ten minutes at the most or else the young folk can start to become fidgety even if you have the most thrilling story in the world.

I chose two passages from different parts of ‘Tortoise Soup’ but with the same characters involved, this is another important point: choose a passage that doesn’t have too many characters or else the children will become confused. Use different voices for the characters so that the children can tell them apart: don’t worry, you don’t have to be a Kenneth Branagh or a Kate Winslett, as long as you can pull off a couple of accents.

Read your chosen excerpts over and over again before doing your ‘show’. It is great if you can almost read it off by heart and keep eye contact with the children, rather than be constantly looking down at your paper. Here is another helpful tip: stick to paper, keep it old technology. If you use slides, or Powerpoint presentations then there is always the very real possibility that it can go long. Paper never fails to load.

Bring something ‘extra’ to engage their interest. I am a ventriloquist and so I took along my tortoise puppet to play the role of Byron in a question and answer session – the kids love it. But there are other things that you could do – maybe you could hand out illustrations from your book or even give out a few personalised bookmarks (easily available from sites such as Ebay).

A question and answer session at the end is a good idea. Children are inquisitive by nature, and they will have lots of questions to ask after your reading. This to me was one of the most fulfilling aspects, the children were so excited and enthused about my book. It really did bring home to me that I had created something that children would love and cherish, and that is the greatest feeling in the world.

So if you get the chance to give a reading, go for it! Don’t be shy or nervous, your audience wants you to succeed and will be excited at hearing from an actual flesh and blood author. I hope that next year, after the publication of Tortoise Soup, I will be giving lots more readings. Maybe I will see you at one of them?

Here is an advance notice: this Friday, December 21st, the Tortoise Soup blog will be publishing my Christmas poem. I distributed it around my friends last year and the response was overwhelming so please check in here after Friday and I am sure that you will love it as well. Find out how Santa Claus himself is rescued in his hour of need by a tiny little tortoise. Ho ho ho!